I learned a new word. MATRESCENCE. It means the process of becoming a mother. For some reason it feels so validating to have a word for it. It’s that transition period nobody talks about between pregnancy and postpartum. Where I’d never felt so certain that I was in the right place at the right time and, yet, I wasn’t quite sure who “I” was anymore. With each birth, all four of them, I have felt the discomfort. The inadequacy as I learn how to care for another human & the newfound confidence as I somehow survive it all, some days even thriving / the confusion of what I should be doing hour by hour & the total clarity of my mission to care for this baby / the insecurity as I look at the extra skin and broken veins & the acceptance as I embrace being more than a body / the isolation as I hold a crying baby in the middle of the night & the sense of freedom as I realize how few things truly matter.