The postpartum period is often a rollercoaster of highs and lows, no matter your relationship status. But add in a separation and the ride takes on even more twists and turns. In case you find yourself in a similar situation, Solly mama to four Alecia Kent generously shares her best advice for staying steady in the midst of a separation.
Separations are tough, emotionally and physically. I don’t believe anyone goes into a relationship or a marriage thinking, “Oh, I just cannot wait for this to be over.” We dive in headfirst to give and receive unconditional love, and sometimes along the way we run into stumbling blocks. Some of these blocks look like time apart, separation, and others may even look like divorce.
1// Love yourself and your children unconditionally. Be kind to yourself, have your back when negative thoughts get in your head (and believe me, they will—been there!). Try to love your spouse. (This is going to be tough, but, mama, you’re far tougher.)
2// Search yourself and see if there is anything in you that needs to be changed. Focus all your time and efforts on making yourself a better person. Think positive thoughts. (I cannot stress this enough.) Take care of yourself, drink enough water, eat right and get plenty of sleep. Align yourself with people who will help to motivate and steer you in the right direction. (This is key.)
3// Reach out to people and ask for help. (This is not always easy but is absolutely necessary.) I’ve allowed myself to be vulnerable and seek coaching and advice from various women I admire.
4// Focus on the good. I sing and dance to music without a care in the world if anyone’s listening. I listen to morning affirmations every… single… day. I comfort myself when my blue days come. I ride the tides and reassure myself that it’s okay to not be okay. And I return my focus to everything that I have going for me and my children.
Whatever you do, know we’re rooting for you and trusting you’ll find the best path for you and your family. Sending you all the love.